omgsh mikey

That was really good. I'd critique it, but I'm not very good, and I didn't see anything wrong with it anyway. So good job!

This is really interesting. I hope you'll update soon. :)

Thanks a lot. I wasn't so confident about this chapter, because it went a lot faster than I wanted it too.

Oh! Okay.

"Where's the keys?" Where are the keys? It actually says that Charlotte digs through her pockets and hands them to him.

Actually, magicman, I kind of am. You'll have to wait and see. I knew I wanted to end it like I did for this chapter becuase if I kept going ...

Thanks a lot, you guys!! I'm not sure if I should update...should I?

Hey Night Mistress! Thanks for reading. I 'preciate it. To answer your question, I don't know. I think it was because I got so into the story that I felt ...

Yeah, I have a habit of making everything one paragraph. I'm trying to break it. And wow, I hadn't noticed that I made it seem like it was just his ...

That was really great. I loved the description. It was a little corny for me, but I still liked it. Typo: loved it.

This is really good. I like it.

I think it's really good. I would give you some constructive criticism but the others before me said it for me.

I thought that it was a little cliché, but it was good. Make sure you capitalize that words at the beginning of each line, like: Broken thoughts Shattered dreams All ...